After viewing the beautiful movie, “A Star Is Born” (if you haven’t seen it yet, seriously, what are you waiting for!) and experiencing all the ups and downs of these two incredible characters, it’s hard not to think that they are intimately intertwined in real life. We desperately want the feeling to continue. As viewers, we don’t want to let go of these characters and we want them to translate into the real world. What is it about this closeness that appeals to us and how could two people seem so intimate without actually “being” intimate? If you aren’t an artist and have never been through the process of creating something out of nothing, then yes, this may seem very strange. The intimacy may strike you as physical but as an artist myself, I can state that it isn’t of this sort. That the intimacy they may be experiencing has nothing to do with the lust of the physical world and all to do with a much higher level of spirit connection.
As artists, we often develop these extremely intimate and deep-felt relationships as we collaborate on projects. I often equate it to a romantic encounter without the physical aspect. It’s very much like creating life together…
Below is my interpretation of sequence of events that often take place between collaborators in order to perhaps shed light or give insight to what may be happening between Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper at this time.
From my experience and point of view, the initial meeting is often like a first date. Both artists have Googled each other to death and have learned a lot about each other’s world. For myself, I usually am in awe of the person’s talent and already a fan of their work. Most artists are incredibly insecure people and our talents are usually “God given” and we take no ownership of them so we merely feel blessed to be able to do what we do without ever really feeling comfortable that it will always be there or available to us. So, when you meet another artist that you admire, there is always that “nervousness” about being at the same level of talent. So, you meet and start sharing your passion for music and art and begin the path towards the unravelling the layers that make you who you are. There is often an immediate “spark” between what we call “kindred spirits” and pretty soon, you realize you’ve been talking for hours and could continue for many more.
The ice has been broken and the bond has begun…
The creative process is an extremely intimate occurrence. You are usually spending a lot of time alone with your collaborator sharing very intimate things about yourself and your life in order to create the best song that most people can relate to. Songwriters are not just lyricists or musicians, they are storytellers and in order to tell a convincing and deeply touching story, you have to make it relatable and authentic. Simplicity is usually the key to creating something that will capture the masses at the heart level.
In order to create great stories, you need to make yourself vulnerable to each other. You need to feel things together in order to write together. Most people equate intimacy to love making but to artists, intimacy runs so much deeper than physical interaction. To an artist, intimacy is about sharing your Soul, your Being, your naked Truth. In those moments of deep connection, an eternal bond is created that can rarely be broken or forgotten.
As you begin to create the storyline and the music begins to come together, you are filled with a sense of deep and fulfilling joy. Your heart starts to beat a little faster as you begin to layer the musical instruments and the song begins to take shape. Once the song has been laid out musically, it’s time for the vocalist to give it life. The singer is usually the one that will interpret a song in the way that can either leave you cold or break your heart. Without a vocalist, the music is just a soundtrack. It can still be moving and deep and create strong emotions, but it is my deep belief that words, and interpretation truly give life to the song.
As a vocalist, it is your job to feel every word so deeply that everyone who listens will feel the same emotion you do as you sing. Whether this be joy, anger, sadness, etc… it is your goal to make them feel your authenticity through the microphone. I have had times where I just didn’t feel the words I was singing, and it came across as such when I listened back. I felt nothing and it came through that way. On the other hand, I have had times where I could hardly get through singing a song because I felt it so deeply. Those are the gems you know people will react to because you are singing from the heart.
When you share these creative moments of “birthing” a song or any other type of creative project, it mimics giving birth to a child. That euphoric feeling of happiness you have is palpable and brings you to a higher ground. Creating something out of nothing can be such an addicting feeling that you never want it to end.
The bond deepens, the admiration grows…
Once you’ve given birth to your song (it can be any artistic project, movie, business, album, etc… I am merely relating it to music because I am a singer/songwriter), it is now time to create the “delivery” of this baby. You are now at the stage of preparing to share it with the outside world. You’ve been cocooning with your collaborator for sometimes what can be months and now you need to break that safe bubble and expose the baby to the outside world. This part of the journey can make your bond even greater as the effect of “you and I” against the world takes place. The is another creative process that happens at this stage as you develop the “delivery” together.
You create the mixing, mastering, the album cover, images, campaigns, etc…
All of it deepens the bond that has become omnipresent.
Once your project is launched to the outside world, you are now on the circuit of promoting it and sharing your inspirations and motivations with the rest of the world. You can be surrounded with hundreds of people, but your intimate bond can be seen and felt from ma mile away. You are like proud parents presenting your baby for the first time to the family. With every accolade, you bathe in the glow of your creation and with every critic, you tighten the reins around your heart and feel protection for each other.
For those of us who go on to win Oscars, Grammys and other awards from our peers that tell us what we’ve created was epic, every one of those moments creates another phenomenal memory that is forever attached to our shared project…intensifying the relationship even more.
It is difficult to explain the depth of this journey to someone who hasn’t experienced it for themselves because until you feel it, you won’t believe it.
I have heard comments like “Gaga was staring lovingly in Cooper’s eyes at the Oscar performance” and think to myself “Of course she does”… you have to understand that these two people have just shared a very intimate and spiritual journey making this movie together. They tore down all their walls and peeled every layer of themselves back in order to provide us, the audience, a truly authentic and real experience. They told us a heartfelt story about beautifully flawed and real characters and made us fall in love with them and their story. As artists, it was their goal to capture our hearts and cement those characters and that story within it. You cannot accomplish that without creating a deep, intimate connection between them. I truly believe it is one of sheer admiration and awe for each other’s talent and willingness to be as vulnerable as they had to be to accomplish giving birth to this “Masterpiece”.
I have felt the same love, admiration and awe towards most of the individuals I have collaborated with over the many years of my musical career. You cannot help developing those connections when you are so deeply intertwined during the development of these amazingly intimate projects.
So, cut these two some slack…they created magic together for us to enjoy…let them reap the fruits of their labor in peace and let us not dirty something so beautiful with the equation of lust. This transcends the physical world…not because you don’t understand it that it must be wrong.